Where No Man Has Gone Before

Netflix Summary: “As Kirk and Spock investigate a Starfleet tragedy, a friend of Kirk’s becomes endowed with godlike powers. To stop him, Kirk must hatch a risky plan.” (Accuracy rating: 6/10 for vaguery)

This is probably the most awkward episode so far. From the high-collared velveteen mustard sweaters (Scotty’s is oatmeal colored- what the what?) to Spock yelling for no reason, this is a distinctively cringe-worthy piece of television. If not for The Great Shatner and Mr. Spock, I would’ve skipped it.

The E-Team finds a distress thingy from a 200 year old ship. RED ALERT!

Also, we make a new friend. Gary Mitchell is apparently an old friend of The Great Shatner (they went to the Academy together, you know). He’s a total d-bag who apparently thinks that when a girl isn’t swept away by his charm, it’s because she’s a “walking freezer unit”.

The oldie ship had bad things happen, and there’s something about ESP. The lady doctor is very pretentious about it.

They fly into a purpley force field and there are explosions on the bridge! (Spock yells some more. It’s weird).

Gary and the pretentious lady doctor get electrocuted or something. I wouldn’t care except it makes Gary’s eyes all shiny (I know that’s supposed to be important because there’s dramatic music).

Down in sick bay (where Dr. McCoy is absent- who wrote this episode??), Gary acts like a d-bag some more, and he has an echo. Also, he’s suddenly a speed reader. Spock says there’s something wrong with him (like we didn’t know that already… Creeper.).

Lady Doctor goes to check on Gary. He goes all Matilda and starts moving things with his MIND! Then he gets fresh and, uh oh! She gets fresh right back! Well, sort of. Also, Gary can read other peoples’ minds! Dun dun DUUUN

In the briefing room, Lady Doctor is super emo and defensive. The boys decide that Gary is dangerous. Too bad the warp drive is burned out- looks like they’ll have to strand Gary on a random planet, or KILL HIM WHILE THEY STILL CAN!

The gang beams down to Delta Vega with Mr. Creeper himself and try to salvage stuff for the warp drives. I should point out that, once again, there are NO RED SHIRTS in the landing party. Again, who wrote this episode???

Back on the ship, Super Scotty is a genius and fixes everything



Spock orders a ginormous gun sent down to kill the not-Gary if he gets out of his cell.

Oh no! Kelso is dead! Gary killed him with his MIND! (Sheldon Cooper would be so proud). Lady Doctor says she’s staying with the creeper and OH SNAP HER EYES ARE CRAZY TOO OMG SOMEBODY CALL THE WINCHESTER BOYS *alert alert*

Jim wakes up and goes after Mr. and Mrs. Wacko all by himself (he does take the ginormous gun with him). He finds them but OH NO! He can’t kill Gary with his ginormous gun! What’s he going to do? Of course! Make the Lady Doctor help him! She does, he beats up Gary and crushes him with a large chunk of Styrofoam!- I mean, a rock!- it’s pretty awesome. Oh, Lady Doctor dies too.

The Enterprise flies away as Jim records a log on his friend… and Spock says he felt something, too.

Jim says that means there’s some hope for him, emotionally. Too bad Spock is a Vulcan, and that was totally a diss.

THE END

P.S. There was way too much Spock in this episode and literally NO McCoy, so here:

...You're welcome.